As you cross silver line...

Realizing the fact that life doesn't give you all wat u want ..is hard. Lately, life has made me realize that wen u have time by ur side u end up being quite choosy about requirements of ur life ranging from color of nail paints to the boy of ur dreams. Being a  partof Indian society, I too was loaded up with questions like "what r ur plans of getting married?" or "Badi ho gai beti,kab aa raha hai invitation?". My education which thankfully was a masters  degree gave me more time to turn down the question with answers like" Still studying Anty.. so  no plans as of now!!" and managing to pass the arrogance attitude meter. But the golden era of "turning down" doesn't last long and thus it happened with me too. 
With changing time, its quite normal for parents these days to make u sit down and ask very politely "Beta, if u like someone u can tell us frankly. We won't object" and when u disappoint them(trust me.. they actually get disappointed) the next statement is thrown at you "All rite then its time we start searching". And u r left with no other choice.Soon lot of names and people become the topic of discussion in your house. Search parameters are decided, and distant relatives are called on to declare official availability of a suitable bachelorette in the town. I would admit that it is quite interesting and fun in the beginning as you get to see all sorts, from dudes to duds, from Casanovas to nerds, from very good to very bad. And since you have time by ur side and are new in the suitable category, u have all the rights to have a long list of requirements and necessities. Therfore, lot of options(which turn out suitable later!!) are turned down or rather "put on hold". Thanks to technology and thus the matrimonial sites, this process takes a heap and thus the number goes quite high. To please my parents, I ended up on one of these and thus began the phase of realizations. I must say that on one hand these sites are quite helpful but on the other they are pain in the ass. We say education make people sensible , but trust me, this statement proves to be wrong when highly educated people contact you without reading your preferences. I mean, when you  profile says you are 26 ,never married and requires a person between 26-30, is it too hard to understand??? Its quite frustrating and funny at the same time when a 36 years old man who is divorced sends a message saying "We have a lot in common" . I mean for God sake , cant you read!!! But then I think that its plain HOPE that made him send this message. Anyway, similar things happen that entertains you and seriously you get a good laugh.
But crossing the silver line has made me run out of answers to anties and cut down the long list to short. Parents  anxiety puts a somewhat emotional pressure , So now, the duds become "Sharif", nerds become "Intelligent" , Casanovas become "fun loving" and very bad becomes...mmmm... Sorry they remain "very bad"!!
                                            
Now that a lot of time is not there by my side( Its what my parents feel..not me!!), I need to compromise on points and think as "Sensible and mature Person"  which actually means considering someone which matches 6 parameters out of 10. I know, If i actually start thinking as I am expected to, I  feel that 6 on 10 is not a bad score, but then what about  the rest 4?  That's where I need to show sensible and mature behavior which in plain terms feels like, "Sweetheart if you don't consider now, you might loose out on yet another good prospect" !!
I dont know this is right or wrong, but all I can gather is that " Time is no longer on my side" and "Ball has moved out of my court" . So as my newly turned intelligent friend says" Leave it on God!!" , I have left it on him.

A Species called "Manager"

Well this article is certainly not to puke out all the frustrations one has with their managers and neither is it to prove that they are not bad and it is just their work that makes them as they are. These are just my thoughts that I got a chance to ponder over. 

 No offenses but my philosophy says "A manager can either behave as human or behave as manager". No human being who is working as a manager in an organization can have the level of his humanity intact.What I just want to bring in notice that somehow human ethics and managerial ethics are not mutually exclusive. Indeed we all think ourselves to be the best of the breed but unfortunately or rather fortunately ( I know its mean!!) we aren't.

 I have a job where I get to deal with people belonging to the exclusive class of "manager" and trust me, the dealing is never profitable for me. No matter how hard I strive to turn wind in my direction , but the trained personnel never gives me a chance to feel smart enuff!! No doubt in it that now I am more ready as I was earlier but still the readiness never helps me.

 I have observed that a manager has levels of smiles that he has categorized and reserved for fixed "Occasions" ( Its definitely an occasion for him but its never for us!!!) U often get to see that smile full of sympathy while u always wish it was empathetic .Another form of smile that makes ur manager's day is when u fall in the famous "trap of words". A manger is famous to be king of vocabulary. One can never outrun him in it and thus it is common and quite obvious that each one of us would have felt the gravity in the famous fall. I have had it many times that my manager gives so very unwanted sympathetic cum empathetic cum sarcastic( I don't know what actually it is!!) smiles to make me feel that no matter what happens he will be by my side(which turns out to be back actually) as a mentor, while deep down I  feel like saying "Its OK dude, I am so  fine without you".

 I work in the famous and yet not so famous sector of Information Technology and have a bunch of managers ruling me all the time. All I have learnt in my experience of 2 years is that whether you do ur work on time or don't, u will have to justify urself as the species is always in hunting mode.



All the time while I am being hunt upon, I feel this is a species that can never go extinct and that any level of hunting can never satisfy them,So just relax dear!! The phase will soon be over. But to my sheer disappointment, it never does. Anyways, don't wana have all sympathies to myself, but the question that arises in my mind is, Is it too difficult to handle people without ruling them or being rude? I would like to quote an example or rather an "encounter" I had with my manager where I was asked to justify my requests for leaves.On asking for leaves my manager commented saying that girls ask for half day leaves quite frequently pertaining to "health issues" but they never think that their Cost To Company (CTC) is not based on gender and thus it is equal to males. I felt it like a direct attack to my dignity. but all I could reply was the famous fake smile that I have now learnt being in his company (while in my mind I was cursing him with all effort I could!!!)

 My manager is the most hated person by my family and trust me they have all the reasons for it (courtesy me of course!!!!). 

 With all this ,sometimes I think that its my manager's work to manage people . What if I have to do his task? May be I would also end up being rude with people as I would be on other side of the line.But strangely I am still not able to have any sympathies for him . It is just that we all human beings have been designed in a way where working under someone or being ruled by someone is just not healthy for us. So may be ( Yes i still would still say may be) the member of the species are not that bad as we think them to be or may be as we are not in their shoes ,its not correct to judge them . Anyways, one day I will be in their shoes and then I would probably delete this article of mine and write a new one "A species called subordinates" !!! 

 P.S. I still think "A manager can either behave as human or behave as manager".