Realizing the fact that life doesn't give you all wat u want ..is hard. Lately, life has made me realize that wen u have time by ur side u end up being quite choosy about requirements of ur life ranging from color of nail paints to the boy of ur dreams. Being a partof Indian society, I too was loaded up with questions like "what r ur plans of getting married?" or "Badi ho gai beti,kab aa raha hai invitation?". My education which thankfully was a masters degree gave me more time to turn down the question with answers like" Still studying Anty.. so no plans as of now!!" and managing to pass the arrogance attitude meter. But the golden era of "turning down" doesn't last long and thus it happened with me too.
With changing time, its quite normal for parents these days to make u sit down and ask very politely "Beta, if u like someone u can tell us frankly. We won't object" and when u disappoint them(trust me.. they actually get disappointed) the next statement is thrown at you "All rite then its time we start searching". And u r left with no other choice.Soon lot of names and people become the topic of discussion in your house. Search parameters are decided, and distant relatives are called on to declare official availability of a suitable bachelorette in the town. I would admit that it is quite interesting and fun in the beginning as you get to see all sorts, from dudes to duds, from Casanovas to nerds, from very good to very bad. And since you have time by ur side and are new in the suitable category, u have all the rights to have a long list of requirements and necessities. Therfore, lot of options(which turn out suitable later!!) are turned down or rather "put on hold". Thanks to technology and thus the matrimonial sites, this process takes a heap and thus the number goes quite high. To please my parents, I ended up on one of these and thus began the phase of realizations. I must say that on one hand these sites are quite helpful but on the other they are pain in the ass. We say education make people sensible , but trust me, this statement proves to be wrong when highly educated people contact you without reading your preferences. I mean, when you profile says you are 26 ,never married and requires a person between 26-30, is it too hard to understand??? Its quite frustrating and funny at the same time when a 36 years old man who is divorced sends a message saying "We have a lot in common" . I mean for God sake , cant you read!!! But then I think that its plain HOPE that made him send this message. Anyway, similar things happen that entertains you and seriously you get a good laugh.
But crossing the silver line has made me run out of answers to anties and cut down the long list to short. Parents anxiety puts a somewhat emotional pressure , So now, the duds become "Sharif", nerds become "Intelligent" , Casanovas become "fun loving" and very bad becomes...mmmm... Sorry they remain "very bad"!!
Now that a lot of time is not there by my side( Its what my parents feel..not me!!), I need to compromise on points and think as "Sensible and mature Person" which actually means considering someone which matches 6 parameters out of 10. I know, If i actually start thinking as I am expected to, I feel that 6 on 10 is not a bad score, but then what about the rest 4? That's where I need to show sensible and mature behavior which in plain terms feels like, "Sweetheart if you don't consider now, you might loose out on yet another good prospect" !!
I dont know this is right or wrong, but all I can gather is that " Time is no longer on my side" and "Ball has moved out of my court" . So as my newly turned intelligent friend says" Leave it on God!!" , I have left it on him.
With changing time, its quite normal for parents these days to make u sit down and ask very politely "Beta, if u like someone u can tell us frankly. We won't object" and when u disappoint them(trust me.. they actually get disappointed) the next statement is thrown at you "All rite then its time we start searching". And u r left with no other choice.Soon lot of names and people become the topic of discussion in your house. Search parameters are decided, and distant relatives are called on to declare official availability of a suitable bachelorette in the town. I would admit that it is quite interesting and fun in the beginning as you get to see all sorts, from dudes to duds, from Casanovas to nerds, from very good to very bad. And since you have time by ur side and are new in the suitable category, u have all the rights to have a long list of requirements and necessities. Therfore, lot of options(which turn out suitable later!!) are turned down or rather "put on hold". Thanks to technology and thus the matrimonial sites, this process takes a heap and thus the number goes quite high. To please my parents, I ended up on one of these and thus began the phase of realizations. I must say that on one hand these sites are quite helpful but on the other they are pain in the ass. We say education make people sensible , but trust me, this statement proves to be wrong when highly educated people contact you without reading your preferences. I mean, when you profile says you are 26 ,never married and requires a person between 26-30, is it too hard to understand??? Its quite frustrating and funny at the same time when a 36 years old man who is divorced sends a message saying "We have a lot in common" . I mean for God sake , cant you read!!! But then I think that its plain HOPE that made him send this message. Anyway, similar things happen that entertains you and seriously you get a good laugh.
But crossing the silver line has made me run out of answers to anties and cut down the long list to short. Parents anxiety puts a somewhat emotional pressure , So now, the duds become "Sharif", nerds become "Intelligent" , Casanovas become "fun loving" and very bad becomes...mmmm... Sorry they remain "very bad"!!
Now that a lot of time is not there by my side( Its what my parents feel..not me!!), I need to compromise on points and think as "Sensible and mature Person" which actually means considering someone which matches 6 parameters out of 10. I know, If i actually start thinking as I am expected to, I feel that 6 on 10 is not a bad score, but then what about the rest 4? That's where I need to show sensible and mature behavior which in plain terms feels like, "Sweetheart if you don't consider now, you might loose out on yet another good prospect" !!
I dont know this is right or wrong, but all I can gather is that " Time is no longer on my side" and "Ball has moved out of my court" . So as my newly turned intelligent friend says" Leave it on God!!" , I have left it on him.
Nice write-up!!
ReplyDeleteCompletely understandable situation as mentioned above. But you have all the time in the world i guess. Moreover the ball is still in the court, you just need to play(implying search for the one that is somewhere near to your likes, here) with it a little. And as some wise person has already stated that God will always be besides you :)
keep posting!!
I like your post and I also voted for it on Indiblogger, but I would like to point out that this content does not match the category you have posted it under
ReplyDeleteThanks for voting Farida.. I know that it does not belong to that category but I could not find a suitable one..
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