Wish The Courtship Continues....

Well, I had always heard people talking and discussing about the changes that occur when one gets married but never gave it a thought and ignored all of it thinking that it isn't for me. Little did I realize that it would be of not much but some use at a later stage of life. Well that later stage is right at my doorstep.
I am a single girl ( for just another month) who has recently got engaged and is going through  her courtship period and I must say that it is the best time of my life so far. Knowing the fact that there is someone waiting for u , caring for u, loving u is a great feeling. 
                                                                 
Time these days is flying with lots of phone calls to attend (I know , i know what u r thinking!!!) and lots of discussions to do. Basically as I am starting a new life in a new city , its altogether a different experience and with my fiance and I being in different cities and 2,217.7 kms apart ( ahem ahem, u tend to find such data wen away from ur love !!!), we have to discuss many things on phone calls. Thanks to Graham Bell whose invention led to further invention of mobile phones.
Finding a new house, searching for maids, setting up the kitchen and many such chores are in the to do list of my loving fiance. I must say that he is doing a wonderful job all alone so that when I go there I have all things available.

                                            
 It might sound boring to single people but trust me all these small things brings a lot of joy between the two of us. I know, right now it is joyous to me, as he is the one who is taking all the pain and I am simply here to tell him my ideas, but I am sure after I go there the roles will be reversed.
The days are also full of shopping and roaming around the markets to buy and bargain for things that are beyond mentioning here( the list is too long to even talk about!!). Shopping is a girl's best time pass and we actually do spend major chunk of our salaries on buying stuff that we might already be having in our lost or forgotten cupboard area!!! But lately, its been too much and no longer catches my interest. I have mentioned it to my fiance that I do not want to shop for another year maybe on which he gave me a sarcastic laugh . Actually he is rite , this is not possible!!! A year is too much for a girl to live without shopping.
From the lehenga to the latkans on the dupatta, from the nail paint to the hair pin, from the trips to the tailors and beauty salons, from new parents to new relatives, from "paeri pauna" to "love u" and from "Shaireen" to "shona" the journey is beautiful with love all around. 

सूरज की रौशनी हो या हो रात का अँधेरा ...

दुनिया  का  दस्तूर  कुछ  अनोखा  है ,कहीं  बारिश  तो  कहीं  सूखा  है 

उस  गीली   मिट्टी  की  खुशबु  में  खो  ना  जाना , सच  नहीं  वो  तो  एक  धोखा  है 

सपनों  की  दुनिया  से  निकल  बाहर ,परछाई  से  आगे  चलना  भी  सीख  ज़रा 

दिन  की  रौशनी  में  ही  साथ  देती  है  ये , अँधेरे  का  लुत्फ़  भी  उठा  ज़रा 

पड़ती  है  जब  सूरज  की  रौशनी  ,छिपता  ना  तब  कोई  राज़  है 

पर  जो  खुद  ही  छिप  जाता  है  कुछ  पल  में , ईमान  पर  तो  उसके  भी  सवाल  है 

रख  इतना  भरोसा  खुद  पर  ऐ  बन्दे ,की  मिसाल  बन  जाए  दूसरों  के  लिए 

पर  इस  गुमां  में  ना  भूल  जाना  की  कुछ  अपने  भी  हैं   खड़े  यहाँ  तेरे  लिए  

सुख -दुःख  हो  या  हो  बारिश -सूखा , रहता  कुछ  नहीं   है  सदा  के  लिए 

ये  तो  बस  वो  कुछ  खास  अपने  हैं , जो  ना  रह कर  भी  रह  जाते  हैं  ज़िन्दगी  भर  के  लिए 

माना  अकेला  आया  था  इस  ज़मीन  पर  तू , और  जाएगा  भी  अकेला  ही  तू  

पर  अपने  हमसफ़र  से  मिले  बिना  , कैसे  कहेगा  कि  ज़िन्दगी  जी कर  आया  है  तू 

Twin-headed Geminarian...

As time is passing and I am growing both by age and thinking, I have done a strange realization. I considered myself to be a strong Arian with typical characteristics and traits of the planet.
An Arian is bound to lead, to be the initiator , to be strong headed with great decision making powers. Along with that an Arian is a carefree bird with a dont care atttitude towards society ( i know it sounds good )!!!!
Well I am one of such kind and one can easily identify the above mentioned tratits in me .But lately I have realized that I am changing. I have started liking things i never liked before.Be it the food I prefer to eat or be it my favorite color.My moon sign - Gemini is having its strong influence on me. I always have two voices inside me. One is obviously the contradictory of second and thus a strong headed , decision maker arian transforms into a confused dual minded gemini with two thoughts hanging inside and thus making me feel lika a see-saw.
Is it the influence of planets on me?? Is it my growing age?? or Is it just me??
Things around me are not what I want but the irony is I dont know what I want? Yes, thats the confused Geminarian I have become. I was always the agony aunt to such confused people around me but now I need one for myself.
I am supposed to be the carefree girl who does what pleases her with no thought to its consequences. One who belives in-"fly now and pay later". One who cannot plan for future and lives in the present moment. 

But yes, I can feel the different me these days . I worry about future, I try to plan( although fail badly at it!!!), I think about the consquences and questions myself regularly which generally begins with "what if?".
I so want to be the level headed girl I was .With no offences to the Gemini's I still loved the Arian me and want it back. Oh Lord Mars, outshine on me!!!


P.S. Well Arian's do have some negative characteristics also. I just forgot to pen them down :P

I might be in love with you..

While growing up and moving from childhood to teenage, life goes through lot of changes. From choices to likes and dislikes, everything changes. Barbie dolls are replaced by nail enamel shades, kitchen sets are replaced by slam books and discussion on games are changed to discussion on boys.

Yes I said boys and yes girls discuss a lot about boys!!! (A much known fact). So all the girls would agree that from the time they enter in teenage to the time they get married, they come across different categories of boys.

Categories would basically be:

1) Really attractive guys who u think are "out of your league"

2) The average guy who u "sort of" like but still don’t LIKE ( U know what I mean!!!)

3) The guy who runs behind you like a dog with his tongue hanging out but u think "you are out of his league"

4) The one for whom u r just a friend or probably the shoulder to cry on when his girlfriend dumps him

5) The nerds and the geeks who r "Not Eligible" ( I know I am sounding rude but dat's how it is!!)

6) The extra arrogant guy who carries lot of attitude with them and u just pray that u never get to be with one such kind

7) And "The one" who u think would be perfect for u but he never even looks at you or for that matter any girl (Not because he has different preferences but because his life is already full of fun and he  doesn't need a  relationship to make it complicated)

Phewwwww.. I can add more to the list but I think it covers majority.

So, many of us would have been approached by boys belonging to either category, with their different "desires" (Yes I actually used Desires!!!) to be with a girl. Girls would turn down or rather reject the proposal for some or the other reason. But sometimes it is really difficult for a girl to turn down a proposal and also explain him the reason for doing so. For instance, when a good friend (mind it just good friend) approaches u and expresses that he feels for u, all a girl gets in her mind is that she doesn’t feel for him as he does, at least not for now and who knows what's going to happen in future.

Another would be when a guy whose is just another "gunda" of the town, start irritating you with his gestures. What would people call a "gunda's" girlfriend? No No, a strict no again. Now comes the turn of the arrogant guy, he is the one who will never approach a girl coz he thinks he has the "charm" and "charisma" that would attract any girl to him. So he will not show u good gestures, instead would start "showing" you that he is ignoring you .But we girls are smart enough to understand this and thus show a bigger attitude to the arrogant male.

That brings us down to serious thinking now, as the guy who stands top in the category list will never approach us, and the left one is the one we think is perfect for us.

But at the end it all comes down to the question "who is the one I love?" This question is very difficult when the choices are a bit too much (I am just being flattery dats all!!)

I might be in love with the nerd as he is smart, intelligent and thus would give me the required space as he has to devote his time to the hard earned intelligence also. I might also be in love with the attractive, handsome guy as he has that charisma which attracts me and thus I will be happy. But what about the good friend who has just got his heart broken by a bitch and thus has realized how good I am with him. He will treasure me and would treat as the only queen of his heart. So, if I try I might just like him otherwise too. So when a girl has so many choices with her, how can she decide who to go with and who does she actually love?

P.S. Well girls, just listen to ur heart as its says all!! It’s Ok if u like the nerd.. Just dont bother about what ur friends will think. And yes you may add on the list of categories above. Suggestions are welcome .

As you cross silver line...

Realizing the fact that life doesn't give you all wat u want ..is hard. Lately, life has made me realize that wen u have time by ur side u end up being quite choosy about requirements of ur life ranging from color of nail paints to the boy of ur dreams. Being a  partof Indian society, I too was loaded up with questions like "what r ur plans of getting married?" or "Badi ho gai beti,kab aa raha hai invitation?". My education which thankfully was a masters  degree gave me more time to turn down the question with answers like" Still studying Anty.. so  no plans as of now!!" and managing to pass the arrogance attitude meter. But the golden era of "turning down" doesn't last long and thus it happened with me too. 
With changing time, its quite normal for parents these days to make u sit down and ask very politely "Beta, if u like someone u can tell us frankly. We won't object" and when u disappoint them(trust me.. they actually get disappointed) the next statement is thrown at you "All rite then its time we start searching". And u r left with no other choice.Soon lot of names and people become the topic of discussion in your house. Search parameters are decided, and distant relatives are called on to declare official availability of a suitable bachelorette in the town. I would admit that it is quite interesting and fun in the beginning as you get to see all sorts, from dudes to duds, from Casanovas to nerds, from very good to very bad. And since you have time by ur side and are new in the suitable category, u have all the rights to have a long list of requirements and necessities. Therfore, lot of options(which turn out suitable later!!) are turned down or rather "put on hold". Thanks to technology and thus the matrimonial sites, this process takes a heap and thus the number goes quite high. To please my parents, I ended up on one of these and thus began the phase of realizations. I must say that on one hand these sites are quite helpful but on the other they are pain in the ass. We say education make people sensible , but trust me, this statement proves to be wrong when highly educated people contact you without reading your preferences. I mean, when you  profile says you are 26 ,never married and requires a person between 26-30, is it too hard to understand??? Its quite frustrating and funny at the same time when a 36 years old man who is divorced sends a message saying "We have a lot in common" . I mean for God sake , cant you read!!! But then I think that its plain HOPE that made him send this message. Anyway, similar things happen that entertains you and seriously you get a good laugh.
But crossing the silver line has made me run out of answers to anties and cut down the long list to short. Parents  anxiety puts a somewhat emotional pressure , So now, the duds become "Sharif", nerds become "Intelligent" , Casanovas become "fun loving" and very bad becomes...mmmm... Sorry they remain "very bad"!!
                                            
Now that a lot of time is not there by my side( Its what my parents feel..not me!!), I need to compromise on points and think as "Sensible and mature Person"  which actually means considering someone which matches 6 parameters out of 10. I know, If i actually start thinking as I am expected to, I  feel that 6 on 10 is not a bad score, but then what about  the rest 4?  That's where I need to show sensible and mature behavior which in plain terms feels like, "Sweetheart if you don't consider now, you might loose out on yet another good prospect" !!
I dont know this is right or wrong, but all I can gather is that " Time is no longer on my side" and "Ball has moved out of my court" . So as my newly turned intelligent friend says" Leave it on God!!" , I have left it on him.

A Species called "Manager"

Well this article is certainly not to puke out all the frustrations one has with their managers and neither is it to prove that they are not bad and it is just their work that makes them as they are. These are just my thoughts that I got a chance to ponder over. 

 No offenses but my philosophy says "A manager can either behave as human or behave as manager". No human being who is working as a manager in an organization can have the level of his humanity intact.What I just want to bring in notice that somehow human ethics and managerial ethics are not mutually exclusive. Indeed we all think ourselves to be the best of the breed but unfortunately or rather fortunately ( I know its mean!!) we aren't.

 I have a job where I get to deal with people belonging to the exclusive class of "manager" and trust me, the dealing is never profitable for me. No matter how hard I strive to turn wind in my direction , but the trained personnel never gives me a chance to feel smart enuff!! No doubt in it that now I am more ready as I was earlier but still the readiness never helps me.

 I have observed that a manager has levels of smiles that he has categorized and reserved for fixed "Occasions" ( Its definitely an occasion for him but its never for us!!!) U often get to see that smile full of sympathy while u always wish it was empathetic .Another form of smile that makes ur manager's day is when u fall in the famous "trap of words". A manger is famous to be king of vocabulary. One can never outrun him in it and thus it is common and quite obvious that each one of us would have felt the gravity in the famous fall. I have had it many times that my manager gives so very unwanted sympathetic cum empathetic cum sarcastic( I don't know what actually it is!!) smiles to make me feel that no matter what happens he will be by my side(which turns out to be back actually) as a mentor, while deep down I  feel like saying "Its OK dude, I am so  fine without you".

 I work in the famous and yet not so famous sector of Information Technology and have a bunch of managers ruling me all the time. All I have learnt in my experience of 2 years is that whether you do ur work on time or don't, u will have to justify urself as the species is always in hunting mode.



All the time while I am being hunt upon, I feel this is a species that can never go extinct and that any level of hunting can never satisfy them,So just relax dear!! The phase will soon be over. But to my sheer disappointment, it never does. Anyways, don't wana have all sympathies to myself, but the question that arises in my mind is, Is it too difficult to handle people without ruling them or being rude? I would like to quote an example or rather an "encounter" I had with my manager where I was asked to justify my requests for leaves.On asking for leaves my manager commented saying that girls ask for half day leaves quite frequently pertaining to "health issues" but they never think that their Cost To Company (CTC) is not based on gender and thus it is equal to males. I felt it like a direct attack to my dignity. but all I could reply was the famous fake smile that I have now learnt being in his company (while in my mind I was cursing him with all effort I could!!!)

 My manager is the most hated person by my family and trust me they have all the reasons for it (courtesy me of course!!!!). 

 With all this ,sometimes I think that its my manager's work to manage people . What if I have to do his task? May be I would also end up being rude with people as I would be on other side of the line.But strangely I am still not able to have any sympathies for him . It is just that we all human beings have been designed in a way where working under someone or being ruled by someone is just not healthy for us. So may be ( Yes i still would still say may be) the member of the species are not that bad as we think them to be or may be as we are not in their shoes ,its not correct to judge them . Anyways, one day I will be in their shoes and then I would probably delete this article of mine and write a new one "A species called subordinates" !!! 

 P.S. I still think "A manager can either behave as human or behave as manager".

Boy In Cafeteria

"Oh , he is so cute" ,  "I wish i could be with  him"  .Most of us would have said these or similar statements quite often. And also would have been encouraged by "friends" around us to do something about the feeling. But how many of us would actually "do" something about it?I mean , I Know the world has changed specially the youth, but i am still the girl who would just sit and dream about a crush of mine and end up doing nothing about it. 
Well I am a girl in her 20's who spends her time while working ten (sometimes even more) bloody hours in a posh office space winning a handsome salary and ending up spending it by the end of every month. It can be easily assumed that I am a big shopaholic and insanely spend half of my salary in maintaining a wardrobe that is exquisite or may be I am such a big alcoholic that I am sloshed to death every other day. 
But a big disappointment to myself, I am none. All right , I agree that I do spend some part of my salary in shopping (Surely  making my wardrobe good enuff but not exquisite) and I do have fancy mock-tails sometimes but I am still not entitled to be called an insane shopaholic or a sloshed alcoholic. 
Anyways,Coming back to discussing about what to "do" when u see someone so gorgeous around u?(Fine, Gorgeous may be a lil overboard) And when u suddenly feel he may be the one for u. When u become conscious of ur looks, ur attire,the way u r eating or even the way u have shaped ur nails or haven't shaped them at all. My friends think that as I am a single girl(soon will be a woman), I should find someone for me ASAP!!! And sometimes I even end up agreeing to them. Well its not that i feel lonely or am not happy but its just occurs to my mind when my eyes are stuck on someone. Not exactly stuck but yes kind of stuck(Its hard to term it !!)These days gals are too strong, as in they do things rather than wait. But this is not applicable to all spheres of life. I am an independent girl who has been living on her own for years now , but does that mean I am not shy!!Indeed I am (though sometimes!!) , but there are moments when the girl inside me speaks rather than "me".  
OK,its simple, a girl likes a boy who is completely a stranger to her. She doesn't even know his name, but is attracted towards him. She sees him everyday in the cafeteria having lunch, but could never gather the confidence to even smile at him. She searches him in the cafeteria whenever she gets to go there. She talks about him to her friends,gets all excited if he also looks at her and their eyes meet(happened just once!!) Her friends think they will make a cute couple,and she smiles all day on this thought.But that is all, nothing more..She is still a  stranger to him and will be if she doesn't gather the courage to speak or "do" something about it.
Her friends always tell her that she should go ahead and talk to him but can anyone explain or tell "what to talk about?" I mean how often do u talk to strangers? Specially when u r attracted to him.Finally the independent,strong girl sits down and tries to "do" something. She takes help from an acclaimed resource "Facebook" .She tries doing some random search  but the acclaimed resource did not prove to be much of help. So now the bottom line is what to do next?  Should she consider it as just another crush and forget it with time or she should be happy that she finally had a topic to write an article on?